Told Ya So

So I open this morning's newspaper, head straight for the comics, and after turning one page I read "Pickles."

The first two panels confirm what I've been saying since late August of 2007 -- the Sandman is an entity we've left untapped for a long time, which is part of the reason I wrote "Sweet Dreams: A Sandman's Story."

A pile of envelopes went out yesterday for "Summertime Blues." Another will be leaving for "Sweet Dreams" in the near future.

Take notice -- just like with my Igor\Frankenstein\B-movie monster parody series "Life and Times of Igor," I again stumbled upon something modern day America is just waking up to.

And, again, it's always someone else with connections that gets noticed first.

2004 for Igor's antics, 2007 for the Sandman.

I'm not saying I'm psychic, I just happen to have fallen into the right place ahead of time, and was completely trampled on in the rush by everyone else catching up.

Not Fade Away...

Well it seems I'm reaching a moment in life where I must step away from the computer for awhile, as I'm rejoining those who have "real jobs" in the next week or two.

If you followed me here from Mania, then you've already seen the heads up I left over there.

After another full year of promoting (again) I seem to have ran dry of contacts. I placed the calls, I sent out the letters\emails, and even sacrificed a sheep or two to the Screenwriting Gods.

They insisted, for my next sacrifice, I give them Jessica Simpson. Frankly, I think they're toying with me.

Oh yes, I must remember to thank Hanso for pointing me in the direction of the Script Shadow contest. He may not like "Twilight," but he's still a good man. The contest ends on November 9'th.

This morning I placed the logline, etc., for "Sweet Dreams" in the running. We'll see where that goes.

In the meantime, I continue to slowly work on the novel adaptation of "The Life and Times of Igor," which everyone already has heard about for the last four years or so. The link to the Mania blog entry above contains a first draft excerpt from Chapter 4 of this version.

And if anyone new believes I ripped off the idea, well just search about on here for Igor's history, and go digging into the Mania blogs from the last year or so to see the proof positive I was promoting mine long before the CGI movie came out a while back, which just proves it isn't what you know or what you can do, it's who you know and who you're sleeping with.

Not sure how often I'll be posting in the coming days\weeks, either here or at Mania, but don't sell me short as I will return. I've got blogs here, at Mania, my old Myspace account, and lots of comments in the "Twilight" and "Igor" articles over at Mania, not to mention practically everywhere else. Explore at your own pace...

Until the sun rises again kiddies...

Starlight

Reminders

Every so often I post this message because, for some, the usage and means of this blog is a bit confusing -- it is an exploration of ideas and opinions, a means for my friends receive an answer to their often stated questions of "what the hell is it you do?," and so on.

For those who represent literary agencies and said friends from Myspace, Facebook, Mania, and "real life," there are shortcut keywords in the right side of the frame. Just scroll down and pick the topic link and receive either descriptions of one project or another, some rambling thoughts on certain Hollywood trends, love (or hatred) for other instances.

As "Sweet Dreams: A Sandman's Story" is constantly being promoted on both American coasts (New York, Los Angeles, San Francisco) then it's only fair to provide a shortcut link here.

This site is kept to a minimum to make it easier for all involved, especially me as I have dial- up (as some of you already know) .

It's raining today -- and has been all night. Flood watches and warnings are everywhere, but I'm in no danger. Can't speak for the River Valley, though.

Ah yes, another lazy, rainy day -- and a chance to make a little more progress on adapting "Life and Times of Igor" to novel form.

Clearing Up The Confusion

I just realized that, inadvertently, I may have muddied the waters concerning "Life and Times of Igor."

In earlier blog posts, I openly state my distaste for reboots, re-envisionings, and remakes. But then I state "Igor" is a takeoff of the Frankenstein story, plus all the other classic literary figures and such.

So am I saying one thing and doing the other? No -- at least not in my opinion.

Think of it in terms of its original intention -- parody. Think "Weird Al" Yankovic parodies, not "Scary Movie, Disaster Movie, Date Movie, etc" parodies.

There IS a distinction: "Airplane," "Hot Shots," and "Naked Gun" are the golden age of these kinds of movies, then it all went to hell with "Scary Movie 2" and fell fast. Then it was absolutely casual brilliance with its own definitive stories, now it's just Take This, Add That, Mix In Some Of This, and voila: we have a piece of fluff that desperately attempts to make you laugh, but fails completely.

Yeah it's all my opinion, but someone needs to make these distinctions. There used to be real inspiration in these movies...and now its as if we're just picking apart movie trailers and piecing them together to just get a new product out there.

But "Igor" doesn't follow even the old ideals of Zucker\Abrams\Zucker. That style of humor died a long time ago, and even the Zucker's can't get it right these days, I'm sad to say.

Parody, just genuine parody. These distinctions are easily understood at Mania, but it's more of a gray area outside of the well versed mind.

I hope this cleans up those muddy waters.

Also, as I've used up every agent in California for "Sweet Dreams," I've decided to send it North as well.

Blame It On "Unskinny Bop"

Those that have followed me for any length of time via Mania, Myspace, etc., knows of the elasticity following my project "The Life and Times of Igor."

(If you haven't, just click the tab down and to the right to see past postings on the subject.)

The guys at Mania love it...they love it more than anything else I've ever come up with. They also know I'm always knocked over by some random development in Hollywood with somewhat similar projects that get pushed forward while I just shelf the project for X amount of time, yet something always stands me back up.

Well I'm looking North this time.

Besides, we're constantly being inundated with remakes, reboots, and re-envisionings which ultimately lead to our regurgitation.

The population wants something new and different, and we keep getting handed the same thing over and over again.

There are no mavericks in Hollywood. No one is capable (or willing) to rock the collective boats of Los Angeles. Even Steven Spielberg has fallen victim to the notion of remakes with "Harvey."

Plus the fact trends are more important than original thinking as well: reboots are a trend, vampires are the trend again. And then they collided with Robert Downey Jr. being thrust into the role of Lestat in yet another reboot, this time of "Interview With The Vampire."

I don't want (or intend) to cash in on trends. I give trends the finger. I also avoid following the crowd, which is why my "Igor" project has been shelved time after time, no matter how much the people have enjoyed it.

It really is annoying -- the one project everyone likes the most is the same one half a dozen agents here in America have nibbled at, yet passed over but then, a month later, someone whose "in the biz" gets his project pushed forward because he's in those "Underworld" movies.

It's never been what you know or what you can do, it's who you know.

Well I know what the agents have likely been "afraid" of: it's quirkiness; its British sense of humor mixed in with American slapstick sensibilities, and its originality.

I came THIS CLOSE to having the comic book version made...with one major flaw: I didn't have (or know) an illustrator. That was upsetting, but it was also a relief, as this is meant to be seen, not read. Igor and Frankenstein singing "Unskinny Bop" in prison is something that can't be captured with dialogue bubbles, it has to be SEEN and HEARD. Think Zaphod Beeblebrox and a hunchback pretending to be Bret Michaels and you've got a formula for inspired craziness.

And that formula fell flat on people who really didn't get it. They all wanted to read it, and once it even disappeared in the bowels of a New York agency for over a year (I had to call to get it back from them, even though I'd provided the standard SASE.)

But they didn't get it. But then Hollywood doesn't understand anything new, original, or inspired these days. It's become a machine, just wash, rinse, and repeat until the fabric has worn through.

But I still continue with promotions for "Sweet Dreams" and "Summertime Blues."

I think it's because I'm a masochist.

Warm up the accordion, Igor, I feel the need to sing.

The Two Sides Of The Coin

I've come to realize I have two main patterns in my creative aspects. The first is to just have fun. The second is to do an interesting exploration of certain topics.

"Summertime Blues," "Passion of Chris," "Life and Times of Igor," plus a few others are all in the name of fun. "Chris" does bridge the gap between both aspects, as it also serves as an exploration between Hollywood and the adult film industry.

Then there's the exploration ideas, like "Unbitten," "Interesting Times," and "Sweet Dreams: A Sandman's Story."

Now don't assume that these aren't fun, they just come from a difference place. "Sweet Dreams" is a light fantasy, "Interesting Times" is massive in itself, and "Unbitten" is a light exploration of the vampire culture, rooted in some history.

Then there's something new I came up with today completely by accident.

Since music is an important muse in my life, I often have something playing through my speakers. Today it was the old B-Side to an Elton John CD single from the early 90's entitled "Suit of Wolves."

It's a beautiful sweeping song that I have on the expanded and remastered edition of "The One."

And sometime, in the dark recesses of my mind, a legend I'm aware of and a song I'm hearing connected unconsciously and brought about a dark story I'm not certain I'd write or not.

I don't often deal with the darkness...simply because I don't like it. "Unbitten" had certain amounts of darkness in it, and this new story would have more than "Unbitten" would.

And yet I know, should I tell the guys over at Mania about it, they'd probably say WRITE IT!

I'll sketch out the basic idea for it, and see where it goes. Then I'll likely put it to the guys at Mania, because they can't seem to get enough werewolf and vampire movies, even though this isn't the standard werewolf movie project I've dreamed up, just like "Unbitten" is less about neck biting monsters and more about the tragedy within.

Staying Ahead, Yet Falling Behind In Hollywood

I'm a masochist. That must be it.

So in previous blogs I've stated what my "Life and Times of Igor" project has been about, the difficulties it's faced, and so on.

I even posted an entry with a link to the article at Mania which shot me down again.

But now I typed in "I, Frankenstein" into Google and saw my envisioned world crash down again.

The page was filled with news items on their movie, their upcoming comic book, and with absolutely no way for me to get a script in edgewise.

So the CGI animated "Igor" movie bombs, now this.

But what really stings is this quote:

"I don't know of any other projects past or present that gives you the chance, in a single movie, to re-invent the 'MOST CULT CREATURES OF ALL TIME'. All of this in a very unique, dark and stylistic world. I would never pass on such an opportunity," says Tatopoulos.

Well, I do - the very same project I've had since 2005.

Oh well.

The saying is true -- it doesn't matter what you know, it's who you know.

And there are countless people out there that know of my story (at Mania), yet the rest of the world won't.

Oh well, again.

That's life in this business.

--UPDATED!!!--

Last night I concocted an evil scheme to stay ahead, even if I can't get "Life and Times of Igor" out there.

I'm officially no longer promoting the actual project...but I have POSTED it (or what would've been the comic book script, which also would've become the first hour in the three part mini-series of the same name.

So here's it is fans and fiends:

http://thelifeandtimesofigor.blogspot.com/

Follow the labels off to the side, as they denote Parts 1 through 5.

I'll work on figuring out how to arrange them in the reverse order eventually...I hope.

Everything You Could Ever Hope For...Again!

Mania blogs are back, baby!

They are a bit off the wagon, and they tend to stumble about in the dark, but at least they're back.

Now, I must say the archiving of the blogs from the past year are terribly out of whack, as they all state the year as 2009, but it's just another glitch to be solved so if you're new to this madness, just remember this: we're nuts, so it makes sense to us.

Here's how to find the past one hundred blogs or so from the previous year:

Step 1. Follow the link off to the right that says "Starlight's Mania Profile."

Step 2. Click the tab that reads BLOG

Step 3. Scroll down and to the right until you see a box that reads BLOG ARCHIVE. There will be a listing of months and the corresponding number of entries per that month.

Step 4. Click whatever you want and have a ball reading it.

Now I will state upfront that there are excerpts from "Summertime Blues," "Life and Times of Igor," "Interesting Times," and so on posted there. I did it to gauge a reaction from the maniacs who would sometimes post comments, but now all the comments (save for the main profile page) are gone.

Another note of caution, sometimes we could get a little blue, so if that offends you, keep in mind you've been notified beforehand.

In these blogs you'll encounter a lot of dead html image links as well, as image embeds somehow got knocked out.

Also, there'll be random assemblages of thoughts concerning the notions of rebooting Superman, Star Trek, and my own thoughts on how to make a third X-Files movie and a Legend of Zelda movie, a plea to bring back Maniac Mansion, and so on.

Plus there's the "Mania Christmas" lyric I composed, in honor of the holidays.

Is that all, Master Starlight?

No, Igor, there's more!

Igor afraid of that.

But what there is left to be discovered has yet to be remembered, but go explore at your own leisure.

Igor do that, Master Starlight.

Good...and, Igor?

Yes, Master Starlight?

Leave that Vanessa Hudgens movie here.

Fine.

Well, now that THAT is out of the way, and given the fact I can revisit all my old blogs that feature Igor, I can get back to work hammering out what should become of this new mini-series.

Igor's Proof Of Resurrection

I'd like to state that, since the news broke yesterday of another Frankenstein spoof both in comics and film, I'd better do more than just state I "did it first."

So I went looking through my files, and found a scan from 2005 which was a reply to one of my original query letters during the earliest days of promoting "The Life and Times of Igor" as a full fledged screenplay.

I will also start looking around in my email account for the very same emails I used as a back and forth between one Bernadette Baker and her Baker's Mark literary agency up in Portland, Oregon as a means of saying "see, I didn't steal it."

As usual, I can't prove if they stole mine either...but at least I have a defensive means should the topic come up.

Also another agent that read a draft of "Igor" back in the 2005/2006 era was from the Stephen Pevner agency that was also located in New York. I am at a loss as to what that individual's name was at this moment.

Yes, I also blocked out my name and address for identity theft issues. Sorry, it can't be helped, besides I'm quite certain you'll understand.

(Although if an agent that I have queried recently asks for this uncensored evidence, they can have it.)



And if the photobucket link doesn't work properly, try this link.

Igor, Here We Go Again...

God this is annoying.

I promote an "Igor" movie in 2005, then I hear they're making one.

In 2007 I promote that same story as a comic, now today I learn an unpublished version that mirrors mine to some degree has made it to Hollywood.

I must be the only person who can not only predict trends, but expand upon them to such a degree to make them bigger than they ever could be, and still not be allowed in.

I'd better check up on who this guy is represented by.

Yeah, I know, other people can have the same idea as you can, Starlight, trust me I've been down this road before. But it's becoming awfully suspicious as of late, I must admit.

Here's the article, in case you think I'm nuts.

--Updated--

Well now that the initial "ah hell" wave of madness has dissipated, I've decided that (as usual) Wiseguy is right. The maniacs were very good to offer support to my project last year while I kept putting up samples of the work.

Wiseguy's the one who was among the most vocal supporters for my "Igor," (as was NotAFan and Maelstrom), and to do battle with this new adaptation means standing up and being dramatically different...by keeping the story the same.

And mine has more characters.

Now I just have to find the appropriate place to put Richard, The Tango Dancing Squirrel which is, of course, one of Dr. Jekyll's other personalities. Him, and the vibrant, blond, and somewhat sexually dubious Simon which is a rip off of Simon Belmont and Van Helsing.

(Note to non gamers - Simon Belmont is the butch guy in skimpy armor last seen in the Castlevania series for the Nintendo and Super Nintendo.)

I've always talked about it, now I'll just flat out put it in:

SIMON
(overly emotional)
I'm a boy! I'm a boy, damn it!

IGOR
Simon say he boy, yet Simon soft like
girl. Pretty too. It confuse Igor.
(then)
Maybe Simon come back to Igor's
place? Rub Igor's hump?

SIMON
Humph!

Simon tosses his long, flowing hair in a very feminine style over his shoulder and storms out.

Let's see...the first third of the script is in pretty good shape, which is something I know for a fact. I will have to look at it again just to clean up any lingering doubts or rough spots, but I'm pretty certain there are few.

The other two thirds will need a little more work, and possibly a good stretching of a few pages here and there, but that won't be too much of a problem. The more Hollywood's antics keep putting Igor down, the more he resurrects himself.

I'll settle for a televised mini-series, just so long as we can still keep up with the manic energy of the story.

And if this incarnation doesn't make it...well, I guess I'll become a novelist.

Just like "Interesting Times," too much work has been put into this project to just let die.

The Life And Times Of An Ongoing Series (Or Two)

I've discussed "Sweet Dreams: A Sandman's Story" openly here, as I'm currently promoting it.

For the better part of 2008, I discussed "The Life and Times of Igor" with several Maniacs regularly as I was, in essence, keeping them up to date with my promotions of the comic book version, finding the agent in Oregon, waiting, waiting, more waiting which saw time being filled with various excerpts posted on the now mostly dead blogs at Mania, some more waiting, and then eventually the Dear Writer letter I received.

But I'm not bitter.

Well, not anymore.

Truthfully, I wasn't bitter then -- exhausted, yes, but not bitter. I'd just squeezed another sixty pages out of a story I'd been writing, rewriting, updating, changing, and polishing since 2004.

A brief, full account of this can be read at my MySpace page, you'll find the link in the "Everything One Could Ever Hope For..." section here. (Please don't laugh at the picture, I'm not too terribly fond of cameras.)

"Life and Times of Igor," amazingly, always resurrects itself somehow, and there's always some new detail I can throw into it, and I'm always amazed how I never thought of that before.

The basic idea of the original screenplay was simple: Dr. Frankenstein gets arrested for dumping toxic waste and Igor, suddenly unemployed, needs a new job. He finds odd jobs in rural Transylvania, Utah, and encounters the Wolfman, Dracula, the Mummy, the Blob, Quasimodo, Lady Esmerelda, a bunch of angry villagers, Dr. Jekyll and, of course, Mr. Hyde.

It's not as complicated as you might think. Think "Van Helsing" only funnier.

And without Van Helsing.

I feel there's still a very good chance for my hunchback story to survive, cause we'll be getting remakes of Dr. Jekyll, Frankenstein, and a few other B - Movie monster stories in the coming years.

I still have the original 120 page screenplay, plus the sixty pages of new material for what would've been the comic book. I'm still kicking around the idea of a mini-series for this, as the material I wrote last year serves as an accidental prequel, detailing Igor's lack of interest in baseball, Victor Frankenstein's lack of interest in the Bearded Lady at the circus where he performs, and so on.

There's also references to a Temple of Scienceology and crazed cult members that Igor brain washes (using a mop and Brain-O) in the bowels of said temple.

Victor runs away from the circus to join Evil Medical School, Igor quits his brain washing gig, and they both encounter each other late one night at some weigh station of life and two destinies converge forever.

That's my Igor story.

Another increasingly growing story I've worked on has the overreaching title of "Interesting Times," and it finally grew to have six episodes, all running at two and a half hours or more.

I should probably detail the birth of "Interesting Times" now in print, as I'm afraid I'll forget it.

Fall 2000

I'd officially become interested in ghosts those autumn months. I'd picked up a book, "The Complete Idiot's Guide To Ghosts And Hauntings," and read through it feverishly. I'd also, interestingly enough, encountered in my French classes a young lady who actively described herself as "Wiccan," along with an interesting person who was actually a victim of poltergeist activity.

"How convenient," I thought. I soon realized there was a term for this: synchronicity. It was as if the forces of the universe itself said Now's Our Chance. Light The Passion And Hold On Tight.

In the fall of 2000, I wrote something like fifteen pages, but had to put it on hold.

Spring 2001

Spring break rolled around, and with a week of nothing to do, I sat down and wrote eighty pages worth of material in five days. I then show it to a person who is still my most trusted literary critic.

She read it, and uttered that famous last word: "sequel."

I railed against her, said she was crazy, and that there was no way in hell I could write a sequel. Doing the first one had driven me crazy as it was.

Up until that time, I basically worked on what was then known as "Once Upon A Midnight Dreary..." for a few months, off and on, while not really taking it too seriously. I'd started promoting what would eventually become "Summertime Blues," and found myself constantly reading any book that seemed legitimate dealing with the supernatural. I read Sylvia Browne, I devoured John Edward, I took comfort in James van Praagh's experiences.

I read countless other books on hauntings, haunted locations, and mysticism.

But I still had no plans for a sequel.

Spring 2002

By this time I knew a lot more about the paranormal world, and realized "Ghostbusters" had gotten it all wrong. I wanted to now make a movie that was, arguably, more realistic than the "ghost in the bedroom" movies Hollywood had been making for countless years.

I'd even found a hook for a sequel, so I started writing what was then called "Shake And Shiver," a sort of homage to Scooby Doo and that phrase which comes from the opening theme song.

I wrote that fairly quickly, and found myself rewriting "Once Upon A Midnight Dreary..." as I was going along.

Then a third one popped up, straight out of nowhere. It was, as originally conceived, to complete the sequence of events which was then thought of as a trilogy. That final episode was to be called "Stranger Things."

From June to December was spent on rewriting those three scripts, plus "Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring" debuted and I was passionately in love with it. It didn't truly influence the material I was working on, but it did truly inspire me creatively.

I kept working, feverishly.

I kept reading, constantly.

Those mysterious forces behind me kept pushing me forward, and I started having the craziest dreams I'd ever had in my lifetime. Mysterious things started happening in my waking life, such as encountering the spirit world in the form of long dead felines I'd once loved.

And I pressed on, like a madman destined to discover new lands he didn't know he was looking for.

2003

Sometime in this year, a fourth movie appeared in my head straight out of the blue. It was to push "Stranger Things" back to number four while this new one was to be called "Amazing Things," and referenced a line from scripture that Jesus speaks. It also dealt with Atlantis.

So now here I was working on a whole new script that came out of nowhere, and suddenly I was working now on four episodes.

I spent that year working on what was then called "Once Upon A Midnight Dreary, "Shake And Shiver," and "Stranger Things" all at once while embracing this new third episode.

I also suffered burnout badly sometime around summer.

But I kept reading.

The rest of the year was devoted to more reading, more writing, more rewriting.

2004

By this time, I believe I'd officially changed the title of "Shake And Shiver" to "Almost Unreal." The name for "Stranger Things" had officially been dropped, and it was temporarily left nameless.

Sometime in this era, I'd also come up with yet another installment, one set in Louisiana that explored Voodoo. I flirted with this idea, then dumped it, but not totally as I would find out later in life.

So the rundown went like this, 1 - "Once Upon A Midnight Dreary," 2 - "Almost Unreal," 3 - "Amazing Things, 4 - fka "Stranger Things," and what would eventually become Part 5 was dreamed up as well, which put the plot details of "Stranger Things" back another episode and the newly vacant four would become a story about voodoo.

September came, and a friend then told me she'd read a little book she'd think I'd like, and it was called "The DaVinci Code."

I was instantly upset, because the game had been radically changed for me. It also inspired a whole new level of historical relevancy to everything I'd been writing about earlier, so delved into whole new territories of study and it lead me to one conclusion:

I needed to do, basically, a page one rewrite of a lot of the stuff that had come before. My parents also just happened to buy me a new computer in that upcoming December, so I had to transfer all my files to the new system, and a new word processor.

All the work I had done, I now felt, was average. It was okay, but it needed a hell of a lot of work to be really, really good to stand up against the now complete trilogy of "Lord of the Rings" and the works of Dan Brown.
So, I went back to the original sources of material I'd had, and flipped what was once called "Once Upon A Midnight Dreary" on its side, taking it from a different angle, and rechristened it "The Fountain of Light.

Then I started having those strange, mysterious dreams again, along with yet another newfound passion and inspiration. "Fountain" took the original story, kept it basically the same, and made it much more profound and, subsequently, changed the entire overreaching basis of the series.

2005

About one month, and 150 pages later, I and my friend who read the very first draft nearly four years earlier were stunned at what had happened. I then set about revising the other scripts.

I started watching entire new documentaries, reading whole new books on history, and Sylvia Browne herself seemed to illuminate all these things I'd conveniently ignored the first go around.

In between these incidents, I took to revising "Summertime Blues" into a more contemporary form, as I'd been working on it for a good five years at that time. And "The Life and Times of Igor" was officially becoming a major player in my life, so all of "Interesting Times" took a sudden backseat.

2006

I kept working on all the above listed projects in some form or another, tweaking here, adding there, revising this, polishing that.

Then, in February, the forgotten idea of doing a voodoo story in Louisiana came back up. It was to become Part Four, and dealt with the devil himself. That spring "What The Devil Made Me Do" became the first script to go through a first draft stage that was so very close to the finished project that I, amazingly enough, felt could've improve on it at all.

Four years later, very little has changed in Episode Four.

When I finished one of the drafts of "Devil Made Me Do" back in '06, I had to deal with "Igor" and "Summertime Blues" some more, and also kept up my research for "Interesting Times."

Now, from here on, the details get sketchy as it's all blended together too seamlessly.

Sometime, now knowing a great deal more about the paranormal, I'd realized the Part 5 script I wanted to write was going to be too big, and the decision was made to cut it into two parts, which effectively left me at a six part series.

A lot of rewriting, reading, revising, and so on has been the norm since that has happened.

And, as of now, I still have no official script for what will become the sixth and final installment of "Interesting Times." I'm polishing up about 30% of Part 1, the same goes for Part 2, and in either 2006 or 2007 I started a Page One rewrite for "Amazing Things."

I wrote sixty new pages...and somehow lost it.

Burnout hit me hard. Very hard. I couldn't make myself write it.

Part 4 is still in 95% excellent condition, and will not change so drastically.

Parts 5 and 6, though, are up in the air, but more so for Part 6 as the script for Part 5 does exist, it's just going to be retitled.

In the spring of 2007, after witnessing a wonderful documentary about vampires, I'd came up with "Unbitten," and tried to give to a friend to write. She wouldn't make the time, so I started writing it.

It was good, but it got harder and harder to write as it progressed. I finished it, and thanked God that it was over. I never touched it again, though I do like it and feel it's not yet finished.

It doesn't need a page one rewrite, but it's not finished either, and I'll worry about that later.

Late summer came about, and then I came up with the idea of "Sweet Dreams - A Sandman's Story." In about two months I'd started from scratch and came up with something truly magical that got me away from everything else I'd worked on for nearly a decade. It came in at 139 pages, and has stayed that way ever since.

That was 2007, and when 2008 rolled around I said to my friend "I've got to finish the series this year. I've just got to, or all the work will be a waste or I'll go out of my head."

I'd set out a schedule to work on it.

I flat out completely failed to do it, and somehow working on "Life and Times of Igor" again.

2009 And Beyond...

There's lots of work yet to be done. I often look at the stack of manuscripts and research materials and get cold feet, yet I'm continuing my research which, fortunately, I scaled back because it was getting too top heavy.

I still swear I'll finish the six part series.

After all, I made a promise to a few individuals it would get done and they like to remind me every so often that I'm not working on it. They didn't push me when I had serious burnout again when the latest version of Igor was returned last October or so, and I thank them for that.

The work will continue, and I will complete it.
But I've learned I can't be rushed, can't be pushed, and it has to all come naturally or else it'll all fall apart.

But I thank the sources of inspiration that leaked the secrets of the series to me over the course of four years because, if I honestly knew back then it'd evolve to such a level of complexity, I would've flat out refused to do it.

As a side note, this may be the final blog entry I make for awhile, at least. There's promotions to write up, mail off, and other things that need to be attended to.

The most recent revisions to "Summertime Blues" are very nearly complete, and then there's what to do with "Life and Times of Igor" as well, but some other things need my attention as well.

So, until next time...happy reading.

Starlight's Plan To Conquer The World...Part II

Part I in my plans of my cinematic vision of world domination detailed how, if I had an agent representing me, I would go about promoting "Sweet Dreams - A Sandman's Story" to a bunch of less than jubilant studio execs and other reptilian suits.

I should add to those previous statements, an unorthodox world premiere in a large, outdoor setting to form, basically, a drive in theater much like the ones we used to see in the 50's.

I admit I don't know how feasible that is, but hell Pixar took to NASCAR (of all the godforsaken places) to debut "Cars." I'm not stating I'd have the power of Pixar and Disney behind me, but I am stating it'd be appropriate and unique to do something quite different.

Also, I'd combine efforts with Cool Bobby B (from the 50's on 5) and we'd compile an album of the best doo wop from the 50's and use it as a sort of secondary release to the official soundtrack.

Now that those plans have been laid out, maybe I should mention what brought me to the here and now - ten years ago I realized I wanted to make it to Hollywood. I was, then, twenty-one.

I'd always been writing or rewriting something, be it for my own personal kicks or for some kind of project (both in high school or college), and I looked upon some of my favorite movies of the day, such as "The Mask," "Who Framed Roger Rabbit," and "Back To The Future," as having the best possible means of getting my often manic vision across.

My philosophy has always been, for better or for worse, that "I can't tell you what it is, I'll just have to show you."

In other words, I could go into a bland description of golf courses exploding, snakes squirming their way into Victoria's Secret, and dirty old men bragging about their favorite conquests in the nursing home.

It sounds fun, but it lacks the actual punch - the sand traps being shot up into the sky, lingerie clad females running out through the mall, and the adventures of Barry and Gary while they tried to make time with the one woman who gave them a sponge bath every day.

So it had to be shown.

At this time, I was also a huge fan of "The Drew Carey Show," which was probably the last great sitcom, as I haven't tuned in one since ABC ran Drew's poor show into the ground. "Friends" went away, and I was glad. Drew's show went away, and I never even noticed, I'm sorry to say.

I'd even taken to writing my own scripts for "The Drew Carey Show," and even writing to Scott Adams about what the procedure is to become a television writer, as he was currently working on the "Dilbert" television show. Adams, who admitted he couldn't accept unsolicited ideas and such, gave me a brief behind the scenes look at the writing process for his show back in those days.

I, hopefully, still have that email. I state "hopefully" as that computer crashed some six years ago, and its sitting in the floor of my bedroom closet waiting to be turned on yet again to see if any remnants still exist within its hard drive.

I never tried writing to Drew Carey after Adams gave me his advice, but I still kept working on those scripts, knowing full well they'd never see the light of day, but I needed the practice.

As I'm in Arkansas, I've had to gather sources from all around me and do the best I can. I'd purchased possibly up to fifteen or twenty different volumes on screenwriting alone, not to mention the others that dealt with filmmaking itself.

I taught myself the craft. I had to, because no one here knew what it entailed.

That was 1999 through the Summer of 2000.

At the end of my Summer semesters, I accepted a project which would see me become an active writer, director, and co-editor of a collegiate promotional film. I recruited, directed, and chose what locations I could to help bring this to life, and presented a rough copy to a panel of suits from all over the campus.

They loved it.

I was then given license to make a second for the upcoming semester, and onward we went.

Now this is a long way from Universal Studios, I admit, but it does show you can take a self taught nobody, put him in a unique position, and prove to himself and others that, yes, I am capable of doing these things.

Then comes the notions of actually going Hollywood, via the New York Film Academy. Apparently, the NYFA offers "crash courses" in filmmaking which lasts anywhere from four to twelve weeks.

The first chance I get, I'm taking a six week stint out to California, which is most agreeable to me as Florida has hurricanes, and if it came to running from them, I'd likely get trampled.

I'm also reviewing J. Michael Straczynski's book "The Complete Book of Screenwriting." Mostly it's the parts on getting and keeping an agent I'm concerned with. That, and the warning signs.

I haven't (yet) been taken for a ride over my nine years of actual writing and promoting, and I've also been read several times. Some wanted to read earlier drafts of "Summertime Blues," several wanted to read "The Life and Times of Igor" (but didn't know what to make of it), and so on.

After a good strong nine years, I think I've realized I can effectively ditch the various Writer's Digest publications that list fewer and fewer screenplay agents. I won't say I wasted a crazy amount of money on these yearly publications because they have proven helpful, I'm just saying it's more economical to get the WGA list of agencies off their website and phone them up for their contacts.

Also, a note on query letters for all those who mass produce envelopes: what the hell happened? I've always had two formats of envelopes available to me, and one would always fit easily inside the other alongside the query letter.

Now I've found that the "standard" 4 1/8" x 9 1/2" is the largest one available at all major retailers, and the puny 3 5/8" x 6 1/2" are the only two options available to me, which leaves me in a quandary - do I use two 4 x 9" envelopes, and just fold one over to fit inside the other, or do I use the 3 x 6" which would require the agent to fold my original letter over to fit in the returned envelope?

Either way, I feel, it's a disaster. Either I submit a letter with an unprofessional appearance, or send a neat and tidy package that requires the agent to be unprofessional.

It's been like this for a year now. No matter where I go, be it Wal-Mart, Office Depot, Walgreens, Target, or any other specialty place you can mention, all I find are the exact same sizes.

And if that's not enough, I find myself waiting for the newest price hike in stamps. Ten years ago I could get a Pepsi from a vending machine for just fifty cents, and in a few years (or less) it'll cost that just to mail one damned letter.

But that's life.

I've survived years of agents, price hikes, loss of properly sized envelopes, and so far haven't fallen for the "okeydoke."

I'm doing pretty well, I must say.

And, though I most likely will not rule the world, I will, at the very least, make it to Hollywood and have the career I've been working so very hard at obtaining for a good decade now.

It's only a matter of time, just like everything else in life.

The Tao of Bartlett

If you're an up and coming screenwriter (or at least you hope you are, like me, wanting to kick open the seemingly permanently sealed shut doors of Hollywood) then you're likely aware of Bruce Bartlett's Screenwriting Tips.

His is a blog I follow, and only just recently as I only discovered it, well, just recently.

But I've known the name for a good long time now because he's the guy to contact at the Above The Line Agency out in California. His listing is among the first, if not the first, in a long list of agencies that are listed alphabetically both in published form and on the WGA Agency list.

Bartlett has stated two things I'm keeping in mind - one of which I knew, the other which is a helpful thought to have.

The first statement is to "own the room."

This is for those lucky bastards who actually get called in to promote themselves. You have to, basically, own not just yourself and all those in the room, but the room itself.

This doesn't mean "be a cocky bastard."

It means YOU GOTTA RAZZLE DAZZLE 'EM!

That, fortunately, is something I'm quite familiar with.

In the past, when I've filled in for the Humanities\Music instructor I worked for back in my collegiate days, I had to not only keep a class of unruly freshmen interested, I also had to keep their respect.

That, I must tell you, is very difficult. They're like predators, and if they get the slightest scent of fear they'll eat you alive in a second.

But I, thankfully, was born under the star sign of Leo. I'm a natural showman.

(Egomaniac some might've said a decade ago.)

But, as a sort of crazed wannabe entertainer, I tend to need to shine as bright as I can to get as many people to notice me. If I can get them to notice me, and if I can hold their attention, I can do whatever I need to do.

And these were the underhanded tactics I used to keep countless groups of freshmen & sophomores intrigued as I would climb up on the teacher's desk, walk an entire row empty desks in the classroom, jump, shout, scream, play movies on the expensive DVD theater system, and pipe various forms of modern music through the speaker systems before and after class.

I had to remind them that, not only was I one of them, I understood them. I was them once. And it always worked.

I was also called in for a few talks at my old high school by my former art teacher, who asked me to show a few of her newer students how to get things done properly. And, of course, I'd climb the desks, draw on the chalkboard, and even sing and dance if the subject called for it.

So I can own a room.

Hell, I do more than that. At times, it's like I've purchased the entire building.

The second thing Bartlett mentions is have three projects completed when you get in that room.

I have that as well: "Sweet Dreams - A Sandman's Story," "Summertime Blues," and "The Life and Times of Igor."

"Sweet Dreams" is about a young man who has his entire life taken from him at 17 due to an automobile accident, but he is reborn the very same night as a Sandman. We follow this young man from 1953 on through present day as he watches the ones he loved fade away, while joining in the nightly battles against nightmarish creatures called "mares."

In case you're wondering, this particular project involves the Starlight Guard and the Sandman's bag of magic sand, which of course served as the inspiration for this blog URL, it's description, and my handle both here and on Mania.

The Starlight Guard is group of recruited individuals who fight the mares nightly, along with the Sandmen, only these select people have no absolutely no idea they lead a different life at night. Only the Sandmen are aware of this fact.

"The Life and Times of Igor" is, simply put, a Transylvanian story gone completely bonkers.

Dr. Frankenstein, a former circus clown, gets arrested for dumping toxic waste, Igor tries to fit in by doing various odd jobs, The Wolfman is part Jack Russell Terrier, The Mummy is an accidental subject of reanimation by Igor one day at the Natural History Museum, and Dr. Jekyll suffers multiple personality disorders such as the evil Mr. Hyde, along with Richard, the Tango Dancing Squirrel.

Other featured stars are Quasimodo, Igor's incessantly jealous cousin, not to mention Dracula, and The Blob who is a living science experiment and door to door salesman.
As Igor tries to fit into life of modern day Transylvania, Utah, things unravel completely for the hunchback and he realizes there's only one place he belongs: with his beloved master.

"Summertime Blues" may borrow the title from the old Eddie Cochran song, and some of its themes from the Bob Seger tune "Night Moves," but it's based more so on what my misspent youth would've been like had I'd been healthy enough to undertake these manic adventures.

It's partially true.

And it's a hell of a lot of fun as it revives my preferred style of comedy: that with grand gestures, lots of shouting, and uncivilized behavior. Think Jim Carrey's earlier works with the naughtiness of "American Pie" thrown in.

I should note these are all copyrighted. I've got the proof to back it up, so no funny business.

A note on my style of comedy: comedy should be passionate. It should have you doubled over laughing with tears streaming from your tightly closed eyes while you pound your fists into the floor.

This is something I personally feel has been lacking for a good....well....several years.

Judd Apatow is the comedic Anti-Christ, and its his movies that have dominated screens for far too long.

I've tried watching a few of his movies, I understood the jokes quite clearly, and I couldn't see an ounce of humor in his bland, rice cracker comedy style.

Sorry Apatow, but for the good of the nation, you've got to go.